Are You the Enemy?

Everyone goes through bad times. No one gets through life without a bad experience in their past. Hard times define us all in one way or another. If you have repeated bad situations and you always seem to be in the middle of chaos, it's time to step back and see if it is your own doing. Are you your own worst enemy?

Self-sabotage is a learned habit and an easy one to get into especially if you were discouraged a lot as a child. Many parents use the backwards logic of "You can't do that" to make a lot of children say, "Well I'll show you!" and it works for a few children but for the vast majority it sets them up with a lifetime of failure to try. You can't lose if you don't run the race and many of these children grow up to be adults who cannot handle competition and they normally don't try to succeed in anything. People who create crisis after crisis in their life are also self-saboteurs, how can they be expected to succeed in anything when they have all this drama going on in their lives?

Negative self-talk is another way you keep yourself down. If you don't believe in yourself, who will? The way we refer to ourselves is learned in childhood and is a tough habit to break as an adult. But you can do it. Avoid creating self fulfilling prophecies for yourself and if you are taking on more than you can handle, ask for help. If it is at work, ask for assistance. If life is overpowering you - look to the Divine. Help is always available whether literal or spiritual. Start keeping a journal for your eyes only and write positive things about yourself. Name your good traits. You are organized, you have great eyes, you're intelligent, you learn quickly, you are always looking to improve yourself...just to name a few. When you feel twinges of negativity and doubt starting to cloud your mind, read what you have written, it's a great self-esteem booster. Also notice your writing itself. Do you put yourself down? Do you write negative phrases such as "I'm so dumb" or "I'm such a loser"? If you do, learn to stop that negative talk. You need to let go of that line of thinking and only speak of yourself positively; you will be amazed at other's reactions to you.

Next, drop that pessimistic attitude. Pessimism is a lot more than seeing the darker side of every situation. It will cause you to pass up opportunities to better your situation in life because along with pessimism comes her sister Apathy. When you practice pessimism, eventually you cease to care.

See the good within yourself and allow your fine points to shine through. Practice being positive and let the negative person you once were go.
 posted by Friends of Leah